"When we think too much about the opinions of others, we are letting them edit a book God has written" - Don Miller
Tonight is one of those nights I can't help but feel okay.
Not the kind of okay where you feel like life is falling into place just how you want it,
but more so the kind of okay like you've been crying for hours and someone finally cradles your face between their chin and their chest and tells you it's going to be
okay.
It's that moment of peace that happens when you stop crying, and everything feels fine.
You just needed to cry.
Maybe part of the reason I feel like this is because last night I was finally able to cry about some of the things in my life that could use some due tears.
It's been a long road of processing the journey, and sometimes crying is like taking a walk through a foggy, cold mist on a countryside mount in northern Ireland. There's usually an easy path to follow, and cool air to breathe. It's that kind of refreshing.
Or at least, that's what I imagine Ireland being like.
....
People are messy.
That truth is not always something you can find peace in. It's not something you can always be okay with.
We all own a specific mess... and how unique they are.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
A Journey to Wellness and a Merry Christmas
It's been far too long since I posted. Nearly a month, in fact.
It's Christmas day, and I'm home with family. For the first time in 20 years all of my brothers are home, and it is a very beautiful thing. My little nieces, Lindsey and Kinsey are here, and they love their uncle Jonny. Currently I am drinking hot apple cider and listening to Amos Lee. I can hear the girls playing and laughing through the earbuds.
Christmas came fast this year. All the Advent candles are lit, and we have invited Hope, Peace, Joy and Love into our homes and hearts. And now, most importantly, we celebrate Christ - a baby born to write for us a plea.
As the new year approaches, I find myself not being able to help the thirst for change. As most of you know, my life is undergoing seasonal shifting. I've been in my new apartment in Grand Rapids for a week now, looking for a part time job while concurrently launching my Shaklee business:
Avenue Bloom. *
It's a pathway to change.
But not just for my customers. It's just as much for me, too.
I had mentioned in a previous blog about feeling the urgency for change shortly after last summer. It's been a reoccurring theme in the past months that have led to the cold. Avenue Bloom is a journey that started for me last August, and has manifested into something bigger than I ever thought possible. The road has gotten longer, and I see no end in sight. This couldn't be more perfect. I hope for no end to this journey. It is a journey of wellness. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And it's honestly just beginning.
I told Dad today that I was excited for so many things in life. Excited about living in GR. Excited about my business taking off. Excited about ridding my body of high candida count in the soon following months before focusing on Shaklee's Cinch program. Excited about eventually going to Belmont University. Excited about working at Sky Lodge Christian Camp again this summer..
Speaking of camp. My band is leading worship for Sky Lodge's winter retreat: Snow Fest. It is our last time playing together as a band most likely. They have been such great guys, and though a short adventure the band was, I would not rather have done it with anyone else but Sam and Joel.
The theme for the retreat is Epic: Reclaiming Your Screenplay.
It's about living a better story, and learning the same reckless abandon that the disciples had when they made the decision to follow Jesus.
I've been thinking about this theme a lot recently because I'm trying to write a song for the retreat.
When you decide that you want to live a better story, three things happen.
First, you get really excited for what's about to happen.
Second, you remember all the muddy, dirty places you've been, and question hope.
And third, you realize that there exists a tension between the past and the future, and you are being stretched thin in the middle of it.
I've experienced a lot of hope in the past that ended up being the foundation for disaster, so I tend to approach hope slowly these days (though never too slowly).
It's hard hoping for something so specific to the story in which you are living. You must be careful. The tragedy is when you chase a better story so relentlessly that you push others out of the way in the process.
It's hard to hope for something when that something has a potential to hurt somebody else.
What do you chase?
I often times find myself holding a desired future in one hand, and the most embarrassing weak moments of my past in the other.
Weak moments you don't even see in the movies because of how terrible they are.
But you know what?
There's something beautiful about those moments existing.
Because no matter how specific or intimate they are, there is grace offered to wash them over.
Those moments existing gives us the ability to catch a better glimpse of the depth
of the Father's love for us.
I think the greatest thing about Avenue Bloom is not the journey of hope that it is, but the journey of where the hope is put.
Kind of like retreating your hope from one thing and placing it in another.
Like taking the great capacity you own for hope put in pretty girls, and placing it in a journey of wellness. That's been my story. That's my Avenue Bloom.
Yes, today is Christmas, and I cannot help but hope for change.
For Change has already come, and he has a name.
His name is Jesus.
and he is for us.
He is paving the way for this avenue, and he is blooming his own heart and hope inside of us - until we almost cannot contain it. We are ready to burst. I am ready to scream. Oh yes, Christmas doesn't end tonight at midnight.
.Not even close.
Merry Christmas y'all.
*If you are interested in learning more about what Avenue Bloom the business is, e-mail me at jonny.avenuebloom@gmail.com and ask as many questions as you'd like. :)
It's Christmas day, and I'm home with family. For the first time in 20 years all of my brothers are home, and it is a very beautiful thing. My little nieces, Lindsey and Kinsey are here, and they love their uncle Jonny. Currently I am drinking hot apple cider and listening to Amos Lee. I can hear the girls playing and laughing through the earbuds.
Christmas came fast this year. All the Advent candles are lit, and we have invited Hope, Peace, Joy and Love into our homes and hearts. And now, most importantly, we celebrate Christ - a baby born to write for us a plea.
As the new year approaches, I find myself not being able to help the thirst for change. As most of you know, my life is undergoing seasonal shifting. I've been in my new apartment in Grand Rapids for a week now, looking for a part time job while concurrently launching my Shaklee business:
Avenue Bloom. *
It's a pathway to change.
But not just for my customers. It's just as much for me, too.
I had mentioned in a previous blog about feeling the urgency for change shortly after last summer. It's been a reoccurring theme in the past months that have led to the cold. Avenue Bloom is a journey that started for me last August, and has manifested into something bigger than I ever thought possible. The road has gotten longer, and I see no end in sight. This couldn't be more perfect. I hope for no end to this journey. It is a journey of wellness. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And it's honestly just beginning.
I told Dad today that I was excited for so many things in life. Excited about living in GR. Excited about my business taking off. Excited about ridding my body of high candida count in the soon following months before focusing on Shaklee's Cinch program. Excited about eventually going to Belmont University. Excited about working at Sky Lodge Christian Camp again this summer..
Speaking of camp. My band is leading worship for Sky Lodge's winter retreat: Snow Fest. It is our last time playing together as a band most likely. They have been such great guys, and though a short adventure the band was, I would not rather have done it with anyone else but Sam and Joel.
The theme for the retreat is Epic: Reclaiming Your Screenplay.
It's about living a better story, and learning the same reckless abandon that the disciples had when they made the decision to follow Jesus.
I've been thinking about this theme a lot recently because I'm trying to write a song for the retreat.
When you decide that you want to live a better story, three things happen.
First, you get really excited for what's about to happen.
Second, you remember all the muddy, dirty places you've been, and question hope.
And third, you realize that there exists a tension between the past and the future, and you are being stretched thin in the middle of it.
I've experienced a lot of hope in the past that ended up being the foundation for disaster, so I tend to approach hope slowly these days (though never too slowly).
It's hard hoping for something so specific to the story in which you are living. You must be careful. The tragedy is when you chase a better story so relentlessly that you push others out of the way in the process.
It's hard to hope for something when that something has a potential to hurt somebody else.
What do you chase?
I often times find myself holding a desired future in one hand, and the most embarrassing weak moments of my past in the other.
Weak moments you don't even see in the movies because of how terrible they are.
But you know what?
There's something beautiful about those moments existing.
Because no matter how specific or intimate they are, there is grace offered to wash them over.
Those moments existing gives us the ability to catch a better glimpse of the depth
of the Father's love for us.
I think the greatest thing about Avenue Bloom is not the journey of hope that it is, but the journey of where the hope is put.
Kind of like retreating your hope from one thing and placing it in another.
Like taking the great capacity you own for hope put in pretty girls, and placing it in a journey of wellness. That's been my story. That's my Avenue Bloom.
Yes, today is Christmas, and I cannot help but hope for change.
For Change has already come, and he has a name.
His name is Jesus.
and he is for us.
He is paving the way for this avenue, and he is blooming his own heart and hope inside of us - until we almost cannot contain it. We are ready to burst. I am ready to scream. Oh yes, Christmas doesn't end tonight at midnight.
.Not even close.
Merry Christmas y'all.
*If you are interested in learning more about what Avenue Bloom the business is, e-mail me at jonny.avenuebloom@gmail.com and ask as many questions as you'd like. :)
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